The Sea of Trees

by Secret Grief

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Zack Allen
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Zack Allen This album made me realize there was a band missing from my life that exists right down the proverbial road from me in MI and they have a career behind them of material that really hits me deeply. I am extremely thankful for hearing one song off this album on The Impact 89fm because that one song opened their world up to me and I'm a fan for life now. Favorite track: Aokigahara.
kayla mccrary
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kayla mccrary Fucking love this band. I just found them and I'm going to keep digging into all of their stuff Favorite track: Faking Orgasms.
Matthew Lochen
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Matthew Lochen Awesome album! Deep lyrics that are extremely relatable. Definitely recommend checking this out! Favorite track: Historical Insignificance.
Andrew Fleming
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Andrew Fleming I looked into this band not expecting much, but now i find myself looking for more. A somewhat small looking band with a great sound and amazing tone. Feel-good yet, depressing as hell. Good enough for the rainy days, just as essential for the sunny ones too. I bought this on record because i see myself lying in bed inhaling every word but also painting furiously to it as the passion and intensity build. I guess everyone's opinion is subjective, but the personality shines through amazing music. Favorite track: Faking Orgasms.
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"Take me to The Sea of Trees and let me drown amongst the leaves."

VINYL available here:


released February 26, 2015

Secret Grief is Scott Nelson, Corey Bickford, Kameron Chauvez, and Shawn McMann.
All songs and words written by Scott Nelson.
All songs performed by Secret Grief.
Additional instrumentation provided by Derek Gramza and Jake Kalmink.
Drums and vocals were recorded in Chicago, IL by Mark Michalik.
Everything else was recorded in Holland, MI by Jake Kalmink.
Produced by Scott Nelson and Secret Grief.
All tracks were mixed by Mark Michalik.
All tracks were mastered by Carl Saff.
Cover Photo by Britta Rankl.



all rights reserved


Secret Grief Michigan

Polymorphic/experimental/emotional/ambient/orchestral/electronic/indie/rock band

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Track Name: Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Perception’s reality. All that matters is what you think
I tried to build my legacy but realized it’s not up to me
Cause no one sees what’s in my head or all these internal actions
My thought process could cease to be and still it would not change a thing
Meaning is void.
If no one believes
Or looks at the world
Through the same lens as me
Will they understand
My reasons or ways?
There’s deeper meaning
Behind the words that I say
All I want is to leave knowing
That what I did possibly had some worth
But I’m frightened ‘cause that’s all out of my hands
Track Name: The Black Horse Of Night
Lock me up inside this room
I’ve lost all of my will to move
I don’t really sleep these days
All I see are projections
And I can’t stand a single one
So I’ll lay in here and wait

I’m losing the feeling in all of my limbs
And thinking what’d happen if I cut off them
Maybe what I need is pain
I just really want to feel for once something that I know’s real
Have I finally gone insane?
My instincts tell me that I don’t have what it takes
What do I need to prove anyway?
This predisposition with feeling human
leaves me barely hanging on
Simple is hard for me

Wondering what’s in my head
If i’m still laying in that bed
Where is my mind taking me?

Am I alive or asleep?
I don’t control what I see
I don’t want to believe
How can I escape my surroundings?
Are these just my surreal dreams?
Odd shapes fill up the landscape
What is real? what is fake?
It’s funny what we choose to believe
Strange voices call out my name

Most of the time we pretend we’re ok

Am I alive or asleep?
Comfort is a fallacy
Our mind tricks us to think
That the world’s not as bad as it seems
Are these just surreal dreams?
How much more can I take
Something really must change
Morbid thoughts slowly overtake me

How will I ever escape?

The black horse of night haunts my dreams
Track Name: Historical Insignificance
It’s a feeling I get when I lie here alone
I’m not really afraid but it’s still something close
Inside my head I struggle with my thoughts on the meaning of death
This pressure that I feel is weighing me down. 
I don’t wanna believe that all this time
I’ve spent living will be forgotten when I die

If history tells us anything
It’s that people aren’t worth remembering
They just seem to fit certain basic needs
Act as inspiration to go do greater things
And I’m stupid enough to still hold onto hope
To one day make a change with the words that I wrote
Can you see how I’m torn between truths I know
And what I wish could be if I were in control

I wanna believe but can not bring myself to suspend my disbelief
This burden is on me. I’m not sure there’s anything
That could fix my thinking or at least ease the pain
I refuse to adapt or ever change my ways

I’m selfish
So selfish
I just want to be important
Why must I feel this way at all?

I don’t think that anybody
Wants to be a nobody
Especially not me
Is this thinking healthy?
It’s easy to forget how fragile my thoughts can be

I wanna believe that someday someone will find some importance in me
Track Name: Montauk
Once in a while when I daydream
I think about people who aren’t thinking of me
Time ripped us apart and sent us our own ways
Now I am stuck with only the memories
And a strong desire for my past to be forgotten

Some people affect us so strongly that they
Leave an impression that’s much to hard to erase
And we want to escape from our own thoughts that make
Us conjure up the times we’ve tried to bury away
It’s these feelings we hate They result in the pain
That is too much for a single person to bare
So I’ll do what I can but I don’t think I’ll stay
As you can probably guess I’m dealing with a few things

How long ’til I can leave
This stupid state of being?
I feel like I hate everything
I wish it’d go away
I’m still looking for a solution
Something that would make a change

But no matter what I try it won’t leave

Someone please come fix me
I’m not trying to live my life this way
Constantly too afraid
That I’m not strong enough to deal with pain
From the wounds that despite attempts never seem to heal

And over time I pick at them
I really wish I’d just forget
But as it stands they’re all still there
The constant cause of my despair
Track Name: Faking Orgasms
Back and forth we play this game inside each other’s minds
We’ve been here before but we’re not really sure how to escape from it this time
Those five things you swore to me that night out in the street
Seem to be just another way for you to get ahead of me

Honestly I can not believe that I let it come this far
I’ve got reasons to doubt the words that escape your mouth even hold any weight anymore
And I’m not sure how I should tell you this
Cause I’m not really sure that you’ll wanna listen to it

You’re a liar. You’re a liar and a fake
You’re a liar. I can’t trust what I can’t see

But in my head I’ve got it all wrong
Cause I see you coming but I’m not sure where you’ll go
So I close my eyes and pretend I’m back home
Cause I see you coming but I’m not sure where you’ll go
I see you coming but I’m not sure where you’ll go

You’re a liar. You’re a liar and a fake
You’re a liar. I can’t trust what I can’t see
Track Name: Daisy
Just two blocks west
I sit inside of my new house thinking of when
I was a wreck
And could barely even get myself out of bed
The time that I spent
Dealing with emotions that I hardly knew that I had
Is better than now
Because lately I can’t find anything to care about

Time affects me more than place
I’m always trying much too hard to recreate
A feeling or general mood but never can
Even under what I thought was perfect circumstance

My thoughts get so messed up when
I can’t get the past out of my head
Feels like I am addicted to suffering

Isn’t it strange
How one simple thought can get your mind thinking
Of some old thing
And suddenly you want it back more than anything
Now I just crave
All the things that remind me of that emotional state
It’s my only way
To fill up the emptiness that is swallowing me

Time’s a broken picture frame that sits unfixed

I thought to myself
Wouldn’t life be easier if I could pretend
That for one day I don’t need pain?
Track Name: Aokigahara
I’ve been reading all about this place
That some people call the sea of trees
A place so quiet you’re left examining
What choices took you down this path
And if it’s not too late for you to change your mind and turn back

I’ve been dreaming all about that place
The sea of trees appears so vividly
I hear a voice it softly calls to me
Pulling me towards my death
Convincing me that I should finally just give in

I’ve been questioning what all this means
And if I’m really this unhappy
Could I do this to my family
And all the people I care for?
What would they think If I were not to exist anymore?

It may be
That I need
Time to become
To the way of the world

Is it so bad to be wondering
If I were to die would it mean anything?
I think that you could agree with me
If I somehow showed you how much better off
I’d be without this hole in my chest

Now you might think that I’m
But most people will never see
How much I’m actually struggling
On the surface it seems I might be ok
But I’m hiding thoughts no person should think
Looking for ways to put it to an end
Do you really want me to live like this?
Constantly questioning my existence

I just keep thinking about those dreams
An easy way for me to escape to the sea of trees
It’s pretty clear I need to make a change
My subconscious is telling me
that I should deal with these repressed emotions

Take me to the sea of trees and let me drown amongst the leaves
I don’t care what other people say
I’m just looking for a way to rid myself of all this pain